Let’s see, I guess I will start from the beginning. I am from a small town on the Great Northern Peninsula of Newfoundland, Canada.
I had a good childhood, I didn’t grow up rich but I also didn’t want for anything. I had great friends, and was surrounded by family. My grades in school weren’t great, I didn’t care much for school. I did graduate and applied to several colleges/universities and was accepted. I decided to go to St. John’s, it was far enough that Mom & Dad couldn’t just drop in, but close enough that I would get to see them often. I wish now that they lived closer.
My first year in MUN, I met Andrew the first week. Our story is an interesting one that is for sure. He was in Engineering, I had planned to be a teacher, by the 2nd year I changed my mind and decided to be a social worker. While home for a summer, I was online looking at college courses to see what other options were available. I saw that the Massage Therapy course was starting in St. John’s, I literally thought, ‘That sounds fun!’ and applied. At the time the class was full and they told me I would have to wait until next year to get in. I was fine with that, I would just pick out my courses for MUN for that year and then go to college the year after. The week before returning to St. John’s, the day before picking my MUN classes I get a call. “Hey, Amy, We had a couple people drop out of the massage program, we wanted to offer you a spot if you are still interested.” – – – Seriously!?
Of course I said yes! A 2 year college course ended up being 3 years. I didn’t make the passing grade for 2 courses in my second year. My options were to quit or to redo the courses. Conflict with the program manager who was also an instructor, made me not want to go back. But they replaced her with a wonderful woman, whom I am still in contact with, she convinced me to return and to finish what I started, so I did.
(Thank you from the bottom of my heart for that.)
I graduated College!! Yay! Then it was on to the Massage Therapy board exams. Cost about $1,000, you have 2 chances to redo if you fail the first time. I passed the first time, and I found a job. Over the years I worked in several different places and have learned a lot. I’ve had my own practice; I worked at a spa downtown; a chiropractic office; I worked at a chain clinic ; Now, I work part time at Paradise Physiotherapy. ( A local business owned/operated by 2 amazing women who inspire so many people everyday. My co-workers are great and I love working there.)
Now let me fill in the bits in between.
While in college I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia, my Doctor at the time didn’t give me the diagnosis but she wrote it in the chart. Andrew told me I was going to marry him someday. About 6 years into my career, I injured my shoulder and had to take time off work. We got married 2011. Four years ago, I was pregnant, found out that I had Fibromyalgia during that time (from my current doctor). April 1st, I found out there was no heartbeat. I had not 1 but 2 miscarriages within two years and on top of that a midlife crisis.
I started SmileRockNL and I loved doing it, seeing the photos people post when they find the rock, taking the time to sit and write on the rocks. But it wasn’t enough, I became very depressed, I avoided friends or faked happy when I did see them, I did the very little, I shut down, lashed out and I wanted to die. I had no desire to live at all. Honestly, I live because I didn’t want to hurt others, my family.
By the end of 2017 I was tired, tired of the constant pain; not being able to take Gibson for a walk on my own, can’t go swimming with one of my best friends & my God children without being in pain for two days after, on ski trips I didn’t ski, quit playing sports I loved. Everything changed, I changed. I have been taking anti depressants for 2 years and liquid CBD for the last year to help with my pain. My medication costs me ~700/month, which insurance doesn’t cover it. That makes me more depressed and things keep getting worse. ugh!
So how did I find out about senegence?
A friend of mine from the US, Miss Zara who I love dearly, started selling makeup. I was active on her page, watched all her videos and thought it was cool. I talked about it with Amelia and mentioned signing up. I tried to sign up under her but sadly it didn’t work out, I assumed that it was because I am in Canada and she is in the US so I didn’t bother to look into it any further. I’m not sure why it happened because I found out later that it doesn’t matter what country you are in.
I looked at the site and found someone that I wanted to sign up under, she had a fantastic profile page, she lives on the Northern Pen, and she looks like she is a lot of fun. I am going to do it. So I did!! I am sure that I would have had a great time on Zara’s team, but I believe in my heart that I was meant to meet Krista and the Global Glam Squad. I started my group, then this website and that brings me to today.
Feb 5th, 2018 I am unable to go to work because I didn’t sleep last night, the pain was so bad it kept waking me up. Even though I am taking medication I am still depressed and I don’t see that changing anytime soon since the pain will never be completely gone. But I am working on it. I deal with pain and each day I wish I was given a body that didn’t hate itself. I am making changes towards being healthier drinking more water, taking vitamins, eating less junk food and less takeout. But, it does suck a great deal to be me.
I know it could be worse and I am thankful for everything that I have especially my family, friends and my husband, Andrew, who has been so supportive of everything and loved me even through my crisis.
I am a 33 year old woman who feels like she is 80. I have more pain in one day than most people have in a month. I have often wondered what it would feel like to not have pain, but I honestly can’t remember.
Today, I sit here at home on my PC, my hands hurting while I type, legs are twitching from muscles spasms, my right shoulder is in agony, pounding headache and I’m pretty sure someone ran me over while I was in bed. Today is the 5th day that I have been in pain ranking 10/10 on the pain scale.
Today sucks and it is only, 11:12am. But it will go on, I will fold the laundry, put away dishes and maybe even clean up my office a bit, that will definitely make the pain worse. So why do it? Well, I feel like I am being a little useful in this world, and because if I sit/lay/stand for to long the pain gets worse.
C’est la vie.
I guess that about sums up my life.
Someday I hope to have my own children, I want to be able to run and play with them. 2018 will be the year I make things better for myself and my family. I started by giving myself one thing I have always wanted, my own business, Lip Confident.
I am loving it, I have my business cards with the Cherry Blossom tree from Japan, I have written up my own fundraising forms, bought stock, we invested some money into making this my own. Andrew is working on a computer program for me that will make it easier for me to keep track of my orders and ooohhhhEeeeeee I am excited! Lip Confident gives me something to focus on, I get to share the things I love with anyone who is interested.
I am so looking forward to looking back in a year and seeing how many people are in the facebook group and how well I am doing.
p.s. My apologies for grammar, spelling or if you are more confused now then when you started. hahahaha. I type like I talk and sometimes that is not a good thing.